Saturday, July 31, 2010

HELP- Can at least 10 people give me advice- THANK YOU




Please read everyone and tell me what you think! thanks!


i wrote about a man that refuses to plan ahead at all. i talked to him about it nicely for a compromise.thinking we could talk and come to a decision to make us both happy. she said men that make plans ahead or just whipped or a sissy. he told me i asked you to go to a wedding ahead of time. he said you should take that as a compliment bc i wont take just anybody. some women wouldnt deserve to go with me. is he is just fool of hisself? he is 31 and i dont think anyone should be talking that way? what do you think?








HELP- Can at least 10 people give me advice- THANK YOU
sounds like he is being and A** to you and doesn't make plans ahead of time because he is afraid to commit to themHELP- Can at least 10 people give me advice- THANK YOU
My God this *****ole just loves him self, You should thank him for asking you to go to this wedding, then tell him that you deserve the better company then him, i would rather stay at home on my own then put up with a vain idiot like him...
I'm a fly by my seat kinda gal too. If he were a planner, you'd complain he's not spontaneous enough.





As far as his comment, he sounds arrogant. Not my kinda guy. Good luck with that mess.
He is seriously deranged if he thinks an adult relationship is only about HIS wants, needs, or desires. If he can't function as a COUPLE where the relationship includes him as much of you as it does him then he needs to date himself and leave the females of the world alone.
Quite frankly he is just plain SELFISH. Anybody who thinks the whole world has to revolve around him and his schedule doesn't really take anybody else into consideration. I don't think this person has much respect for anybody else. You can't MAKE him change if he doesn't see that he has a problem.
sounds like this guy needs to do a lot of growing up,he will b the kind of guy(if he really beleaves what he is saying is true,that )that has no retiremnent or any kind of insurance,,i don tthink i would want him as a husband ..peace
He's immature and yes full of himself. He thinks you should be grateful that he even spends time with you at all. He's a loser. Tell him to grow up! He doesn't make plans ahead of time because he's irresponsible and immature.
I wouldn't want anything to do with a man who'd make statements like:


';some women wouldnt deserve to go with me';


';men that make plans ahead or just whipped or a sissy';





He sounds like a jerk.



What's the big deal here, you either crap or you get OFF the pot. one way or the other, and he's right YOU should feel HONORED to be asked by him because no one else will put up with your bossy, pushy attitude. Just enjoy life as it comes and stop making problems in life!!
I hope he is worth it - sounds to me like he is very full of himself and thinks you are LUCKY to be with him - do you feel that way?
wow. arrogance at its best. total turn off to me. and the more time your w/ him the worst it will be.





bye bye id say.
Conceited and cocky, those are not good qualities. Why are you with him, he sounds dumb....

I need some really good advice please people?

me and my boyfriend have been together a year and a half , in april he kissed another girl at a night club, she told me ( as she thought it was my boyfriend she was having the conversation with ) he denies it, he hasn't changed with me he still the same as when we 1st met cuddling all the time kissing me telling me he loves me rings me all the time, texts me all the time, were together all the time accept for when he goes out with his mates on the odd occasion..so im just wondering why hasn't he admitted it to me? as i know its the truth he did kiss her and its not just a rumour ?... why does he stay with me? why hasn't he said yeah i kissed her instead of deneying it ??..HELP!!, also hes just acting so normall with me i dont understand, why does he never let his phone out of his site but then stil be all over me like nothings wrong ???I need some really good advice please people?
He's obviously hiding something.





If he isn't letting his phone out of sight, he could be texting other people.





He might feel as though he wants to tell you, but loves you too much to want anything bad happening, like breaking up.





Why haven't you confronted him anyways? That's what i'd do.I need some really good advice please people?
Hi,


Do you know for sure this girl is saying the truth maybe she just wants you to break up with him so she can have him. She is probably just jealous .


If you have a picture or video then that changes the subject. Ask him why is he denying it does he feel really sorry for what he has done that he wants to forget it . Or is it that he wants it to seem as if he hasn't done anything .Or lastly maybe he was drunk and can't remember!





If its the first:forgive him and really see if he is sorry.


If its the second tell him that it is not as if nothing has happened that he can ignore it ! Ask for an apology or break up with him.


If its the third then well tell him to keep his drinking moderate and to stay near close friends that would not let that happen.
He kissed her. Ummm thats it. He was probably drunk and looking for company. He hasnt told you becasue who the heck would??? It so minor and why stuff up a good relationship with one foolish little mistake.
Maybe it was simply a drunken kiss and he's totally forgoetten about it.


It's possible the girl kinda threw herself at him -- you know the type, the kind that don't care if the guy's taken or not. If you still feel the same way about him and he still feels the same about you, I'd let it go.





Or if you can't stand it, confront him and get it over with.
One kiss with another girl should not ruin your relationship.


Girls and boys do it ALL the time but it doesn't mean they love you less. Infact probably the opposite. OK, so he had one kiss, so what. If he is treating you the same and still loves you then get over it. He probably had drink in him if he was at a night club and people do all sorts after a couple of drinks, don't they. If it has happened only th eonce then move on. If It becomes a regular thing, then questions should be asked. x

What should i do? need advice from people who been through.?

Hi i been with this girl who i love very much we been together for 3 years now on and off. she has played me 3 times. and lied to me about 4 times.recently we have broke up over myspace. and i missed her birthday but i called her and told her happy birthday.we havent talked for 7 days now and i really want to call her, and talk to her and get back with her.but i dont know how. as of right now she is talking to other guys and always clubing. guys please help me out i love her so much. and really want to get back with her. she is one of those type of girls who make you feel bad.What should i do? need advice from people who been through.?
Why would you want to be with her. It doesnt sound like you were in a very healthy relationship. Id say go out and meet someone new and forget about her!What should i do? need advice from people who been through.?
i would have to say move on bro..she isnt worth it. I would rather sit by myself under a shade tree from now on rather than have some myspace tramp ruining my life and good time. She will cause you nothing more than grief and misery
Try again, this time you will succeed.
make a scene with her if u can %26amp; leave her


do what she is doing with u
Are you craving for heart break? Its high time, you need happiness atleast now after 3 yrs of tears, Please leave her and move on in life.
Move on. I'm sorry, but even if you talk her into coming back, she will only leave again. She's made it clear that her feelings are not the same as yours, so it's time to let go. Sorry.
move on im sorry but why would you want to be with some one that makes you feel bad love really isint suppose to hurt,love is when you are happy and you can trust that other person and only be with that person she does not feel the same towards you. good luck,please move on not worth your time.
It is hard, I had gone through it. There is something called self respect also, right? She want's you to, or expects you to plead and ask her to ';please take me back';


If you are gonna do that this time, she gonna expect the same each and every other time whenever something goes wrong between you guys. Further, in future if you manage to tie the knots with her, she will always do the same in order to force you to do things as she wants.


Man she is not the only one woman, go for another one. It may take some time, but you will sure find a better woman. All the best
You want to get back with her so she can make you feel even worse???


Shes not worth it after cheating you all those times.
i will nerver understand people like you,does the word


DOORMAT


mean anything to you
Are u MAD why u want her back she does not deserve u. U said she make u feel bad so why u want her back in ur life............


to make it hell it's better u leave her and look for sum1 who luvs u unconditionally n will b with u forever in ur gud times as well as bad times. After all understanding each other is base of any relationship.


So just cheer up and keep ;-))


OK DEAR................

Please read this i need advice please people?

I just want to know if anyone has ever experienced this or knows what im going through, how do i get through this.





I met my girlfriend 14 months ago, the relationship started over the internet, I was going through breaking up with an ex girlfriend, it was christmas and i thought it would really mess her up if i did it at time so i waited and ended it.me and that girl talked about it, we remain friends, she agreed that our relationship was over a long time before, it was inevitable.





After this me and my girlfriend got together, it was a long distance relationship she lived over 80 miles away. I fell in love almost immeadiately she was perfect, wonderful, kind caring and beautiful. I knew i was lucky we visited each other every weekend and i was in love.I still am. she said she would move up this summer and started working more hours with another job she was getting up at 6am sometimes coming home after 8pm. I kept telling her to get another job, it now seems i was nagging at her.Please read this i need advice please people?
This is very bad timing for you. You have to concentrate on these exams or else all your study would have been a complete waste of time. I know it is hard to think about nothing else apart from your girlfriend, but you have to be kind to yourself and put everything into exams for the moment. Once they are out of the way you can work on repairing your relationship.





If the two of you are in love, happy and good together you have the foundation for a longlasting relationship and you could focus in on the fact that this is only a temporary blip which will pass. If you both feel that what you have is strong then you will be able to get over this stormy patch. This is a test of what your love for each other can endure.





You have had distance between you, she has been paid attention by someone else and you have reacted badly, probably because you feel guilty at not having treated her to the best of your ability. She would have had plenty of opportunity to have done an awful lot worse if she had wanted to, but she hasn't done that - so there is plenty of scope for you to rebuild your relationship.





My advice for what it's worth would be to let her know that you love her through thick and thin and you will always be willing to try to make things right between you.





She is probably feeling that you over-reacted as what she did meant nothing to her. Tell her that you love her and want to be with her come what may.





If you can show her that you really are a good guy and are reasonable with letting her think about things for a while, I am sure that if her depth of feeling matches yours then you will be ok.





It is very difficult when we have these obstacles thrown at us and when the heart is involved it is very hard to see the wood for the trees.





Try to look at the bigger picture, get your exams done because they will shape your future, then concentrate on your heart's desire. With all that love in your heart, all you have to do is throw a little bit of time and effort, plus a bit of luck in the mix and things can work out.Please read this i need advice please people?
Sorry, it is too long.
Look...give her space...then after exams and whatever, see what you have. If you do have a chance, leave the past there. All you have is this moment anyway.
I think you really need to talk to your girl friend, you need to know the why and whether she still wants to be with you.I know she has hurt you, and lost your trust. But you can only over come this by really talking to each other. try not to be too one sided over this as she sounds upset over her own actions, it takes two in a relationship. It is up both of you where you go from here.
What goes around comes around you broke up with a gf at Christmas you knew it would hurt her well you got the same thing back at ya
Give her space. What's meant for you won't pass you by.
Hey guy you have to pick yourself up and move on to embrace new challenges and opportunities.


There is nothing more to be gained from telling her that what she did was bad. I know it sounds impossible but please pick yourself up and move on...
  • buy make up
  • Losing my virginity? -- i need advice from people who already have?

    I've been dating this guy for awhile now... and i swear he's the one of the best things that's ever happened to me. He's like a best friend for me, i really think he's the one i want to marry. I really want to lose my virginity to him because i trust him, love him, and know he won't think less of me. Also, i'm scared it'll.. but if i'm going to lose it i want it to be with him because i know he'll be gentle. Before i do anything i have the potential to regret though, i want to get advice from people who have already lost it. Do you regret it? Do you wish you had waited? just share your experienceLosing my virginity? -- i need advice from people who already have?
    i agree with VIVA





    please wait


    1. please wait till marriage for intercourse!! its not crap,


    2. you'll have actual committment


    3. you''ll know ur manl doesn't want you just for sex since he waited for u, shows u got a great guy


    4. if u get pregnant, it won'tb such a problem since ur already married!


    5. ur parents won't care so much


    6. u won't be breaking a commandment


    7, u prolly won't feel so guilty





    AND WAITING TILL MARRIAGE IS NOT CRAP





    love means being willing to wait..:)





    make smart choicesLosing my virginity? -- i need advice from people who already have?
    well it does hurt a little, but you open up a whole new way of being together that is so uniquely special. And if your sure he's the one there is really nothing to worry about. I make a point of never regretting what i have already done, i simply accept that that was the decision i made at the time and if i think i could have done better i make sure i don't make the same mistake again. if you think now, that is what you want, then share the experience with him. :)
    All my friendns wish they would have waited but don't be scared, if you are or you have a feeling than don' t do it. But if you want to then do it. only you can judge if you will regret it or not
    I have been married twice,have three kids,didn't have sex till I was 18, got on birth control before I even had sex, and I wish I was still a virgin.It complicates EVERYTHING.Specialy if you end up not marrying him.
    LOL at sean





    You don't seem ready for sex, just wait. If he is truly the one then just wait till your married, like the other poster said, it will be the most amazing moment of your life. You don't seem ready, and should please wait.
    Lol don't listen to the first poster.


    It won't be the best night ever, it'll be painful and bloody.


    Does that sound fun? Better to get the hard part over with, and move to more enjoyable experiences.
    i regret losing my virginity at 14 it was a ******* jerk who ended up just ignoring me after...


    make sure its the right guy. cause i regret it so much its something you cant take back unfortunately.
    If your sure he's the one you'll marry, wait till your married. That way that night will be the most amazing thing ever.
    How old are you?
    If your scared, then don't do it?
    yeah call me, ill take ur v-card 240-328-8370
    Really take your time with this decision. I don't know how old you are but I hope you would wait til you're at least 18. There is only one first time and you wanna make sure that when you look back on your life,you don't regret giving your virginity at the wrong time and/or the wrong person. Your first time could be a beautiful experience or it can be an awkward one. Definately take more time to think about it and talk to some friends who have gone through it. Make sure the timing is right and that you use some form of birth control. And yes,it will hurt the first time..it is a very personal and intimate experience make sure you have no doubts about it. Good luck to you hun
    Right well the person i lost it with im no longer with , but it was only a few months ago , i don't regret it because he was so nice and caring , and all the time asking if i was okay , but it was really painful but that's me, and with him it made it okay , i bleed alot too , he was ontop because he had sex before and knew what he was doing and i didnt , i dont wish i waited because its really fun lo0l and it made me so much closer to him , before you have it,im always imbarraced with this kind of stuff but i wasnt imbarraced at all , when you do it with the right person you will know , just relax and trust him x goodluck xx
    You have no clue what you are doing and hun trust me i would not give bad advice to anyone, even if i did not know or like them but your virginity is something special and meaningful and you are so young, when you lose it so young, you will continue having sex and when you are married and you have sex, your husband will not apprecite you and you will not completely enjoy it and it may feel like you are being used, is that what you really want? waiting to have sex till marriage is the best decision you could ever make and trust me that may be a long time from now since you are only sixteen but it is worth it and if you regret it then you have issues!
    no, i didn't regret it. most people would look down on me cuz i trusted him so fast and gave him my virginity just after a month of dating. but guess what? i still don't regret it. it's been 8 months since i lost it. and i sort of wish i waited, just so i could test him and see if he's in it for the relationship or the sex. if you trust him completely, and thinks he won't break your heart after, i say go for it. but just be careful though. it hurts and you might end up pregnant. if you want your first time to be worry free, go on birth control for at least 3 months. that way you won't worry if you're pregnant or not the day after. i wish i had gone on birth control earlier. and your body might ache the next morning. just because your body isn't used to sex. but it'll get better. i'm just talking from my personal experience, yours could be completely different. my first time didn't hurt, even though he was a virgin also. but everyone is different. oh another thing. you might look at the world completely different. like something's changed. it's because sex brings new emotions. you'll be way more emotional than you were before.





    i hope i helped. good luck and be safe. e-mail me if you have any other questions. i remember that night like it was yesterday.

    Please i need some good advice from people who knows how to catch a guy?

    Read this first b4 u understand my question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...





    well if you've read it then i choose to tell one of his mate that i like him......... and his mate told me that he will start by telling him good about me then he will then let the cat out of the bag......... but his mate told me that i should start by making him happy so i wrote some funny jokes then i gave it to him and he was impressed..... please give me some advice on how to get him more


    Please i need some good advice from people who knows how to catch a guy?
    You had been reading into too much.


    All you need to know is that you can make any guy YOU WANT fall in love with you.


    Once you have feelings for someone or someone you like, make sure that you smile every time you see him. Then start adding winks to your smile. Start being a little touchy-feely - pat on shoulders, hugs and holding arms or even innocent high-fives can help a guy open up. Then see if he is reciprocating with equal or opening up. If he is able to open up to you, then start flirting and throwing those flattery smiles and naughty looks when you two are alone. Soon he will come around and able to reciprocate more.





    Good luck.

    My ex Has destroyed me.... :( Advice please people..?

    Hey everyone.. Please Give me some advice on how i can overcome this feeling...





    Im cutting a long story Short here.. My boyfriend and i were going out for a year and a half throughout the relationship i found he was forever lying to me.. cheated on me.... never told me obviously untill i called his bluff and found out BY FACE EXPRESSION (and a bit of snooping).. I never used to snoop on him only because i felt something in my gut that wasnt right.. i used to trust him alot untill i found out all his lies.. so.. he gave me no choice really....





    Now.. how im feeling obviously from that bad relationship, Can i ever trust a man again because hes made me sooo paranoid its unreal and makes me think i can never trust a man again and always think that men are gonna lie to me and now i feel i always have to snoop around first to see what type of guy they are forst before i get involved...





    BUT! i dont want to feel i have to do that... I just want that perfect man that doesnt give me a reason not to trust him! :( - How will get over this paranoia... My mum told me its VERY bad because it can take over your mind and ruin things with all your next relationships.. paranoia is a strong thing and i feel that its ruining me.. :o(





    Please someone need some advice to think possitive! xxxMy ex Has destroyed me.... :( Advice please people..?
    You can and will do better. We all make the same mistake. I am sure you have heard the expression, ';fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me';.My ex Has destroyed me.... :( Advice please people..?
    i think that you need to give it time before you have a new relationship.





    there is no use going to look for something that you are clearly not ready for. you will hurt the other person aswell as yourself.





    i think maybe you need to be friends with people for while first. my ex hurt me by lying to me. after a year or so of being single and having time to think about it, i felt i was ready to move on.





    but when i did meet someone i told him from the start that i needed time to get to know him and i wouldnt rush in as my ex had hurt me. luckly he understood. we took it slow. now i know i can trust him and im glad he gave me time. we were friends before we were lovers and i think its made us alot stronger.





    when you do meet someone tell them the truth and take your time. if a guy tries to rush you then i wouldnt bother with him.
    Like you - after dating some bad guys - I was left untrusting of men and rather paranoid about them, which when they didnt deserve it - often ended up in the relationship ending because they couldnt take it anymore.


    But your mum is right - and its only in the last year that Ive realised that its me that drives these guys away with constantly questioning their every move and being paranoid - but then I realised that its not right to paint all guys with the same brush - there ARE good guys there, and Ive discovered that I now have a sixth sense when it comes to men and Im able to weed out the good from the bad - Im sure the same will be said for you once you actually give yourself a shot with the good guys! Experience one of these nice guys - and its very easy to spot a bad guy coming for you!!


    xx
    Really sorry to hear about this.


    I have also been through this and i know it is tough.


    The trouble is that once someone has abused your trust it is very hard to trust another.


    I tried after my bad relationship to trust another man but with my paranoia i ruined it not long after.


    My best advice is take some time out for you. Have fun, flirt %26amp; play but dont get into another relationship just yet. Discover yourself as a person before you share it with another. You will soon learn to trust again but at the moment your wounds are too raw.


    I (after 3 bad relationships) did this and after a year or so of me time, i met my husband. Needless to say, i was a bit apprehensive but i got there in the end!


    And so will you.
    you cannot go through life fearing .be glad that you found out in time ad that you had the guts to do something about it !


    now, just be cautious and date wisely .........
    I know from personal experience what you are going through. I think you are on the right track to overcoming some of the anger you are feeling, by getting all this off your chest. The worst thing you can do is hold that in. This is gonna sound lame, but time is gonna play a key part in you getting over this. Its hard when you have devoted so much time into something and have the carpet pulled out from under you. One thing tha always helped me was to get it out, talk or journal about it as much as you can. Not everyone is like that and eventually you'll realize that. Hope this helps!
    So sorry about everything, but first of all there is nothing wrong with you, its your boyfriend that was rotter and he is making you feel that you are wrong. Its not you and you should try to keep him out of your mind and move on. You have a bad experience but you try as best you can to wipe it out altogether. Not all men are rotters, there are some really nice guys out there just waiting for you to choose them as Mr Right! If you let your ex get the better of you, even mind wise, then he has still won, so do not let him win.


    So get your glad rags on, meet your girlfriends and get out into the big wide world and enjoy yourself. You are worth a lot more then your ex so chin up and get out there girl! Good luck.
    good luck. you WILL get over him and find some one better. your to good for him. good luck yours richard uk.
    Hey I hope you run into some very nice decent men soon in your life. Do not let one bad man ruin half of the entire human population for you , that's just Silly. Men and women both cheat. My ex-girlfriend of 5 years cheated on my with my best friend and lied to me that she got rapped. For a very long time I HATED all women and didn't date for 4 years straight, but I got over it , because I realize there is good people and there is bad people , they come in all different shapes, color, sizes, and sexes. So please keep your heart open and do not become bitter and hateful because then your boyfriend has won by robbing you of a chance to meet a good honest caring man, so don't let him do that. Keep your chin up and have faith in human beings and their ability to be good. But on the other side learn from this experience, and know that you have the right to ask questions and be curious of your partner.
    Unfortunately there is no such thing as the perfect man. However, there are different types of men, if at all possible try to find out about anybody you like before getting involved with them. If you have any males friends ask if they know what he is like with women (although men do tend to stick together on things like this).


    Most importantly, dont let this put you off all men, and dont assume they are all the same. Dont feel bad about this relationship because you are not to blame, and you deserve someone who wont cheat on you so the other person is welcome to him.


    Dont rush into relationships with people before you are completely sure what they are like so that you dont get hurt. Good luck!
    Move on hun, do it today! There are nice men out there, you do deserve better, noone should put up with this, its draining the life out of you, move on!!
    i know how you feel and i guess its going to be there for a while but you just need to focus on yourself right now because as soon as you meet the right man you will realise that sometimes you are going to worry but if you really love him you wont need to anymore and he will understand how your feeling
    This same thing pretty much happen to me, in all aspects. I was witha guy for a year, and during this year he cheated and lied to me 6 times. It will take a long time. We broke up 9 months ago, and yeah im completly over my ex, i hate him and would never get back with him, and i have even had relationships in between, but i am so messed up in the head about boys i ruin everything. Basically what iv realized recently is you need to work on self restraint. your probably gunnawanna be paranoid that your new boyfriend is cheating on you, but write or read something to keep your mind off it and if you find the right guy he will understand when your getting paranoid and not let it bother him until you can learn to trust again.
    BEEN THERE DONE THAT BOUGHT THE T SHIRT AND SENT IT BACK.. IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT A MAN THEN YOU WILL NEVER TRUST ANYONE AGAIN. THAT SHOULD NOT STOP YOU FROM HAVING A RELATIONSHIP. ASK AROUND WHO THIS MAN IS IF U DECIDE TO DATE. JUST SIT BACK AND LOOK FROM THE OUTSIDE AND GO SLOW AND STEADY. THEY SAY THAT YOU LEARN BY YOUR MISTAKES AND TRUST ME YOU DO. I AM ON SECOND MARRIAGE GOING ON 15 YEARS AND THIS ONE WAS BETTER BECAUSE I KNEW WHAT I WANTED AND TOLD HIM ANY BS AND YOU ARE GONE!!!!
    First of all, you have to relax!


    You are not paranoid, and you have no paranoia, just a bad experience.


    Now you know the signs, you know the look in his eyes, when he is nervous, not looking into your eyes, playing shy or uncertain - that's the signs.


    Most men are like that - they justify their lies with a deal they make inside their head, and, believe you me, they mostly, don't feel guilty!


    But you are the woman, so you can turn everything to your side!


    First, show in every detail, in every conversation, in every comment about movies, books or anybody you know - let your future man know, you won't allow be him with you just for a ride.


    To make it easier on him, make jokes about it, talk in riddles, but be firm - you won't put up with nonsense.


    Let him know, if he wants someone else, you won't mind, BUT, he would have to leave immediately and not to bother about taking you for a fool!


    Don't follow the gy, don't phone up every hour asking where are you, don't check his pockets for a possible note...


    What you should check always is how he treats you. If he is caring, thinks about how to spend more QUALITY time with you, thinks up different surprises and is trying to entertain you everywhere - at home, at parties, at friends', at work, at the park, in bed, etc - if he does that, he loves you and he isn't cheating on you.


    The guys always want sex, it's their nature.


    Though it depends on a girl to offer them SUCH an attention, so that the word SEX will mean YOU, the word LOVE will also mean YOU, the word FUN will mean YOU, the words BEST FRIEND will also mean YOU!!!


    And many other things should tie you to him. Even if he won't have enough strength and he falls just for a ';onner'; with someone else - he WILL feel guilty, it won't be easy on him, he will be scared as hell to lose you!


    And then it's in your hands - to forgive him (though taking out of him your EVERY whim attended to, because he was wrong!) and go on, or to break everything you and him had worked over for a long time!


    And remember, ideal partners don't just fall on your head as snow - you can make your ideal partner yourself!

    I need some good advice from people who are divorced and have kids

    My boyfriend has 2 kids they are 6 and 10. He pays child support and is not behind at all. It is a battle everyday with his ex wife on when he will take the kids. She works part time and he works full time. He is a security guard so his hours are not that great. He works weekends and his days off are during the week. She insist that he takes them every other weekend. she came right out and said more then once she needs that time so she can go out with her boyfriend. My boyfriend sees his kids every week. He is not one of these fathers that is not in his kids lives. But he cant take them on the weekend he has to take them on his days off (during the week) in his divorce papers it says the partys have to agree on visitation if they cant then the court will decide. We went to a lawyer and it will cost $1,200 to have this fixed. We dont have that kind of money. She tells there son that my boyfriend does not want to see them he is making excuses. I started back in july writing down every time we have them. We go no more then 4 days between visits.But I have had to miss work a few times allready for this to happen. What can we do. I need some good advice from people who are divorced and have kids
    First, you don't have to have a lawyer to go to court, but it's unadviseable to go in there without some sort of counsel.





    My question to you though is why are you putting yourself in the middle of what is essentially none of your business? He is NOT your husband and they are not your stepchildren...yet.





    Don't add to the drama. Stay out of it and leave it to your boyfriend to face his responsibilities and let him deal with these issue with his children's mother.I need some good advice from people who are divorced and have kids
    This sounds harsh; but you need to find a boyfriend who is not so encumbered. Sadly, this woman will be a part of you lives forever 鈥?even if you get the visitation thing worked out, she鈥檒l always want to cause trouble 鈥?just because she can.





    Again, this will be forever. Children grow up, get married, grandchildren are born, yeah, this woman will always be there 鈥?causing trouble.





    Do you really need all that drama?



    Without her having a change of heart the lawyer is the only way this will stop. Keep writing down when he has them.





    Also those children will be able to figure out as they get older that their mother is a liar. Your bf needs to just keep being the best father he can be and they will see and appreciate that.
    Since your husband works weekends and she knows it, the visitation should be set for your boyfriend's days off. Tell her if he is to have the kids every other weekend, then he will have to work fewer hours and have less money for child support. That will certainly get her attention.
    This is just Drama by the baby mama; let her follow her own misguided path. The Kids will resent her downing their dad, she is making it bad for her self. Don't change a thing, and leave the lawyers out of this they only want your money, this is a problem, which requires no action.
    I really hate this question, it reminds me of the situation I was in when my children were younger.





    Why can't he take the kids on the weekend again? Oh yes, because he works. She doesn't work during the week and yet she's still able to have the kids?





    How is it the men always want the kids when they don't have to work however, women are expected to keep the kids whether they are working or not?





    **sigh**
    What does the paperwork in the divorce decree say about takeing the kids?? Go by what the paper saids to do, I know it's written down, he should take them only when the papers state he can take them, he can go to the court house and ask for a legal aid to respresnt him for free, something to think about. Just say NO when she does this the two of you, to bad if she doesn't like it !!!
    do not take them so she can have extra time for her boyfriend, that's not your problem... or his problem...





    she has to deal with it, that's that...





    don't let her run your life...





    good luck! obviously the man she is with is pressuring her to get them away, he probably hates kids... and she does not want to pay a sitter, nor does he... don't give in!





    and remind the kids when they are with him that sometimes he has to work, make them understand...! =)





    keep keeping track of the time you are with them... don't change jobs for her, either...





    she's just jealous that you 2 are happy and they are not, lol!

    Why do people who are really not qualified in your opinion,like to give you advice?

    Opinions are like b-holes, everyone has one.Why do people who are really not qualified in your opinion,like to give you advice?
    Because generally it makes the person feel superior


    or ';important';.


    However, there are few people who ARE qualiffied to give advice, but people are blind to their intellgience because the try to force advice impossible to follow.


    Just remember before you say anything keep in mind the person may only be trying to help.Why do people who are really not qualified in your opinion,like to give you advice?
    I have a relative who is like that... He likes to hear himself talk. But, he also reminds me of the little robot ';Short Circuit'; (from the movies). He reads lots of books on all kinds of topics and anytime a question or comment comes up, it's like his brain goes into ';recall mode'; and anything he has read about that topic comes out of his mouth--whether you want to hear about it or not. I am a ';bottom line'; person and don't care about details, so I have to remind him that I am looking for a ';yes'; or ';no'; answer rather than an unsolicited education about the subject!
    some just like to listen to themselves talk, others really do have advice they have drawn on real life experiences, some people want everyone to do and act they way they believe is best to conform with what they believe society should be, all in all, we are human and for whatever reason we give it, remember, this is yahoo answers so all it is a web page full of it...
    Because they want to feel like that they are helping you out and think they they know more than you do. Isn't it irritating? I would just listen to their advice and say thanks for your opinion and then do what you want. Unfortunately, there will always be people like that in life.
    Probably because:


    A. They think they're qualified


    B. They're bored


    C. They're jerks and want to give you crummy advice?





    Most likely A and B =)
    to make themselves feel better


    they are bored


    they think they are qualified


    they think they are doing a good thing


    they think you want their advice



    if you don't want advice from people who aren't ';qualified';, then don't post questions on an public answer board.
    Because they don't want to feel bad for not knowing the answer. Or some people have too much pride to admit not knowing something.
    If there is one thing to learn in life.


    It's to learn from others mistakes,


    rather than your own. %26lt;}:-})



    you might find one clue to the question in an ';unqualifed'; answer..that might solve all your problems...
    Maybe they just want to feel like they have something to offer.
    They think that they are or they just like seeing you get irritated.
    Because you're asking questions in a non-exclusive, public forum. This is what we do here.
    Maybe they think their answer would really help you out or they want points.
    Too feel like there helping out!
    may be because or the think they are helping ???????

    I would love some advice from people familiar with Brazil please?

    Hello. I am a 22yr old man from England. I would dearly love to see Brazil as an archaeologist, as most of work has been focussed on the Near East and I'd like to branch out. My focus would of course be on the more remote parts of the Amazon, as I believe I have stumbled across a few points of interest that I would like to see independently, first-hand.





    What is the best part of Brazil to have as my 'base', if I am aiming to mount an expedition in to the Amazon? I would like to explore a certain part of the Mato Grosso- are people free to simply head in to the forests at their own convenience, with no guide or beaurocracy- as if you were just off hiking in the US or UK?





    I would have two friends accompany me (both of whom are recently retired Royal Marine Jungle Warfare specialists) and would employ a local person to act as a translator.





    Also how much can I expect to pay for a budget room, to myself, to stay in for up to two months?





    Thanks!I would love some advice from people familiar with Brazil please?
    Contact Andy at Amriobbb in Rio, he's kind of a geordie, ex army and now a lecturer so he'll keep you right !!!





    www.amriobbb.com
  • buy make up
  • Hey I really need advice from people who are spiritual...I had someone read my fortune BUT....?

    I had someone I know (a family member) read my fortune and they said things that were incredibly detailed and accurate, but after she did the readings, she kept on making berating comments and tellling me things are not gonna work out for me, that I am such a dreamer, etc..They've even laughed when they knew I lost everythign I cared about. Things have gone so wrong for me and I am wondering if it is because of her negative energy? Can someone like her who has scene what's in my heart affect my destiny or not? Any advice?Hey I really need advice from people who are spiritual...I had someone read my fortune BUT....?
    no one can change what you do or how you live your life or your destiny. what they can do, is plant ideas in your head, leading you to feel down and like things won't work out. when you feel this way, your life can go downhill because you won't try as hard if you feel you will fain anyway. cheer up- know that you control your life= God would neber let someone else control your destiny- that would take your free agency which is against His plan. i've been told that fortune tellers (real ones) get their power from satan- that he palnts ideas and thoughts and that is why it can be so dangerous- he is one that does not want you to succeed- any doubt he can leave with you- he will. clear your mind from the reading- you can have a wonderful life if you set your mind to it and go about things prayerfully.Hey I really need advice from people who are spiritual...I had someone read my fortune BUT....?
    You did not play with the devil but with someone who has no idea what they are doing. You went to the 7-11 to have surgery! This family member is a fake as they probably know more about you and can make educated guesses. Forget this person. If you are really interested in psychics the net has a few good ones but you have to look. Read George Anderson's ';Into the Light'; or do a google on him and his books. He's cool.
    First off, I don't think it's very ';amazing'; that a family member could give you a ';detailed and accurate'; description of your life...of course they know things about you....sounds like they are trying to wake you up and put your life on a different track....in other words - Tough Love....that's the only ';destiny'; going on here...trying to make you be more realistic about the way the world is may be the only way they can try to get through to you...
    First of all.... Breathe.... her negative energy is not doing anything to you. However, you are still looking outside of yourself for your answers and for the source of your problems. This is never where we find genuine answers. Even Jesus told us where heaven is....';it is in you.'; When you look to readers, fortune tellers, psychics and the like you are giving your power away. Listen to the still small voice within you. Don't look for curses from outside of you. It isn't ';her negative energy'; giving you problems...it is your idea that she has given you negative energy that is hiding the true source of your issues which is your own fears.





    God bless.
    You should only allow God to speak truth into your life. Go to His word for His promises. A 'reading' (only God knows whats in your heart) no matter how accurate is not from God. You can cancel any curses that have been spoken to you or over you in the name of Jesus!
    Fortunetellers are false prophets; do not listen to anything she says. Pray for her instead.


    Receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and let Him bless your life.


    God Bless.
    play with the Devil ....you get burned....he mean you no good...........
    u make ur own destiny ignor dat shyt
    God is against you visiting such persons and for very good reasons too. This is the very same reason. They will tell you details about your life....that is a fact..but they did not come by it through reading your mind. They came by it through demonic forces...these demons knows every little detail of your life and they are very good messengers. It is the same thing that happens when the call up what appear to be the ';spirit'; of a dead relative, when it is actually demons who are parading as the person. If they have foretold your future, then i can guarantee you that they will to the best of their ability make whatever was told to you come to pass.





    You must repent and renounce ever going to that person...you have given these demons direct entry to your life and they will not stop until they destroy it. Let me guess.. things began to go wrong after you visited???





    Please go to God in prayer and repent of it in the name of Jesus Christ. Then out loud rebuke those spirits and command them to leave you in the name of Jesus. Otherwise i can guarantee you that no good will come of this.





    God bless you richly
    NO she cannot affect your destiny. Sounds like to me she was being cruel.





    While I am a believer in psychic abilities I also think some people are not sincere and she wasn't. Don't care how correct she may have been. She may have gotten some of that info from family and you may have accidently told her the answer and she just re-worded it. Was this a recorded session? if so listen to it again.





    God gave us free will and the will to change our destiny. That negative crap she told you don't focus on that and focus on positive things going on in your life.





    Please don't ask her for another reading.
    I think that fate is fate. Time is time. Its the choices that YOU make that matter. They are called READERS because they predict what your fortune will be. They cannot effect it. The only way they can effect it is if the effect you with the reading (as she seems to have). For example, if it were not for your discomfort with the reading then you would have not asked this question therefore resulting in a different fate. By asking the question you have presented me with the choice to answer it or not, effecting my fate. But I made the final decission to answer it. You, like the reader, have presented me with another pathway.





    Maybe its your own knowledge of the reading and the discomfort you feel from it that is effecting your choices. This is why i think readings are silly and a bit dangerous really because although we may hear things that we like, we may also hear things that might distress us.





    I once had my palm read by a man who i did not pay or anything. I met him whilst waiting to get my palm read by a 'professional' who was making money from it. He was just watching and shaking his head. I asked him why he was doing this and he told me that the 'professional' was doing everything wrong and that he was even reading the wrong hands! he said that the art had been passed down his family for generations. My left hand has only one line. A very hard, deep, straight line that travels from one side of my hand, to the other. I have always thought it odd and the guy said that it is very rare. He said some other things that are unimportant as to now but he did not say anything negative. Since then i have almost felt uplifted and more confident about my life and what i want to do with it. This has obviously worked in the opposite way for you, making you feel unhappy and depressed, resulting in hard times seeing harder.





    Readers attempt to TELL your future and may INFLUENCE you to make certain choices. This is all.

    I would like some advice from people that know about Anxiety Issues ?

    Well let me simply put it I suffer from anxiety issues.


    Meaning I've got a hard time keeping my end of the conversation alive, expressing myself, and sounding articulate.





    I've suffered from this so called : ';Social Anxiety'; for as long as I can remember. Recently I went to a social worker for help and advice and to be honest she wasn't much of a help.





    Now If there's anyone out there who suffers from anxiety issues like myself, I was just curious in wondering how do work it out and get through it ?





    I currently have a job lined up and I am required to call the employer, however as you can probably guess it's extremely difficult for me to convey what I want to say in person, let alone talking on the phone. I hate talking on the phone





    Advice please ?I would like some advice from people that know about Anxiety Issues ?
    before calling them up to talk, practice what you're gonna say by talking to yourself... if needed, write down everything u have to say so that you won't forget in case anxiety sets in... also, calm yourself down... keep reassuring yourself that this is something you can overcome and something you can control.. tell yourself it's not so scary after all.. you need to do plenty of self talk to make yourself strongI would like some advice from people that know about Anxiety Issues ?
    First, let me say that I am not a medical professional, just a person who has dealt with anxiety and depression firsthand and has a keen interest in psychological issues. What I am about to say is my own opinion and not to be considered as advice from an expert.





    The kind of anxiety you describe is not a character flaw or weakness. It's not your fault. It is a brain chemistry malfunction. The chemical messengers in your brain that control your emotions are sending out distress signals that are way out of proportion to the actual situation. In other words, a situation that would be normal for someone else feels like a crisis to you.





    There are anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications that work very well to restore the normal balance of your brain chemicals and relieve your excessive anxiety. What I would advise you is to see a psychiatrist or other MD practitioner who is qualified to prescribe these medications. Some of them have side effects and they don't work equally well for everyone, so you might have to be patient and be willing to try different kinds until you find the one that is right for you.





    You may get a lot of responses from people who are against using drugs and who are in favor of more ';natural'; ways to feel better such as meditation, breathing exercises or positive self-talk. That's fine. These things can all be helpful. I'm just saying that my own experience with drugs has been a positive one that has changed my life for the better. My only regret is that I waited so long.





    I hope you can find the solution that works for you, whatever that may be. You deserve to live a normal, productive life free of anxiety. Good luck, and I hope the job interview will go well for you.





    One thing that might help you with talking on the phone is to first think of the ideas you want to get across to your prospective employer, then write down some phrases in advance that express what you want to say. Then while you are on the phone you can refer to these phrases to prompt yourself if you get ';stuck.';
    I have it too and it sucks. I saw a therapist twice and it didn't really help either. People who have this have all of these irrational thoughts that need to be eliminated. I found out about CBT and I did some on my own. I found out about an audio series that helped me out a lot. Its called 'Overcoming Social Anxiety Step-By-Step'. I downloaded it for FREE and listened to the tapes and read the notes that came with it. I noticed my thinking patterns slowly started to change and I gained more and more confidence over time. I am not cured, but I am a lot better, so I higly recommend CBT. You have to want to get better and never give up in order for it to work. I have issues expressing myself and being articulate as well trust me. Its one of the things that causes my anxiety. I always fear that I will sound like an idiot in front of people. I am still a work in progress, so I am thinking of attending group therapy soon. I wasn't ready at first, but now I am. I believe the cognitive therapy trained me to be the way I am today.





    As far as talking on the phone...


    I think maybe you should practice what you are going to say. Write it down if you want. Read it to yourself slowly and they do it again without looking. Take a deep breathe and keep telling yourself you can do it to counteract the thoughts in your mind. If you keep doing this, you will get better and better, trust me. Good luck with your progress.





    Edit: I just looked at your profile and noticed you said you don't know what to do with your life. Well I am in the same boat and I am older than you. Sometimes it takes awhile. Right now, focus on getting better.
    I've had anxiety all my life. The best things that ever happened to me, is eating low carb. I know that seems like the dumbest answer. Seriously though, eating carbs makes your heart race a little faster. So will caffiene. So cutting those out as much as possible and instead of regular carbs, try the ones that have lots of protein and fiber(low glycemic ones).





    As for if your having an actual attack...a therapist once told me to start looking at something in the room like a picture and go over it in your head. For example it's a picture of a boat. Tell yourself about the boat. Is it a sailboat, a speed boat, what color.





    As for the calling. I have that too. Think of reasons to call stores and ask them if they carry such and such. Instead of writing what you want to say, just write down things like price, quantity, etc. and each time you call...try to embellish your questions. Try and think of something funny to say if the person is nice. Another good thing to do is to try and go out to eat alone and talk to the wait staff. This is very hard to do, but my therapist had me do it. Talk yourself through it. What's the worst thing that can happen? Then answer them. So many times we just think what's the worst and then we don't come up with an answer of how we can handle it. That's what makes us stronger. Your such a great looking guy and from your questions it's totally obvious how kind and smart you are. I hope you can work on it and find your strength.
    I have social anxiety as well (social phobia)





    Talk to your doctor. They have prescriptions called Beta Blockers which I would only recommend if your symptoms are severe: sweating, heart pounding, panic attacks. Actors use them to subdue the physical side effects of anxiety.





    You might also try a mild antidepressant.





    The only thing that will actually cure you is cognitive behavior therapy which is basically re-training your self to think differently. It involves breathing exercises and monitoring your negative thoughts. I guess alot of people have this problem. It can be overcome. I still have it but I can identify it and know how to cope with it in everyday life. Try going on to different websites and reading about it as much as possible. The more you know the more you'll be able to control it. By the time I went to see my doctor I knew more about it than he did and pretty much told him what to prescribe me. Good luck. And remember, everyone gets nervous. It's natural. Everyone is self concious to some degree.
    Quick answer for the phone call:


    Instead of ';winging'; the answer when you call. Write out what you want to say. Ask yourself what questions they may ask you and have those answers ready. If they ask you a question and you don't know the answer, be honest and say ';I don't know, but I can find out and get back with you.'; I used the last line during an interview once and three years later my supervisor said I got the job because I was willing to admit I didn't know everything. No one expects you to be perfect.





    Working on social anxiety: toastmasters is a great place to start. But if that sounds too overwhelming, try a different therapist. Some are better than others. Check your insurance on the web and type in looking for a therapist who specializes in anxiety. Lastly, try the workbook ';The anxiety and stress management workbook.'; I suggest this alot, but as a therapist and knowing many people are still queasy about going to one, this is a good book to help. It asks you questions and gives you suggestions to use. It can be found in libraries or even on Amazon (at least I am sure it can be)

    Guy Troubles. I need advice from people I don't know.?

    The only reason I'm not running to my friends or my parents about our problems is because they've only heard what I've said about him and what he's said about me. Basically I have been with the same guy for a year and a half. Everyday we are fighting. It's over girls, and other guys. I can't trust him. He''s literally a pathological liar. But that's the thing. I can't give up on him. At least I feel like I don't have it in me. I find myself going crazy at times, even physco on him. I don't wanna do that to him, because I feel like everything he does he's lying about. Will he ever change? Do I need to lay off his case? Or do I need to completely give up when things get ruff? I'm missing school today, because I couldn't even get up because we were outside yelling and screaming all night. Please help me. I need an answer.Guy Troubles. I need advice from people I don't know.?
    Girl you sound like me.I just asked a question on here and got the best answers.Leave him,because after all that cheating he is doing on you,he will either leave you,or give you something.Thank God the only thing I got was a broken heart.But even though it hurts,I think I'm gonna walk away from mine.This was a man I put all I had into,and he knew that but have no regrets about taking me for granted or breaking my heart.Good luck.Guy Troubles. I need advice from people I don't know.?
    im in the same predicament it sucks... i dint know what to do i've given him so many chances and mt bf Lies all the time to.. but it you don't want leave him :( ugh
    Do you know me?
    Let him go.


    You obviously don't get along.





    You'll find someone better who will make you happier, and someone you have trust in.
    I had a boyfriend like this. I didn't want to give up on him either. But when I look back on it now i realize that all the fighting never made me happy. I was in constant stress over him and our problems and trying to make it work. Eventually, he ended it and I felt completely ashamed because it turned out I had been the only one working on it and he hadn't cared about our relationship at all. I wished I had ended it when i'd had the chance. Now with out him in my life and without the constant stress i'm realizing that i'm a lot happier then I ever was with him and our fighting.
    when you are in a abusive relationship get out. this includes yelling and screaming. after this will come cussing and hitting
    It's true that a lot of times people need to work at their relationships, but this does not sound like one of those times. If this is affecting your life this much, you have to let him go! It will be so hard at first, but you need to do it. Some relationships just aren't right; you guys have been trying for a long time and you're still under so much stress! No guy should make you miss school. Leave him!


    Good luck, I know it's going to be ridiculously difficult to end it but I really think you should.
    talk it through with your family and friends
    stay with him dont give up
    WOW! you sound like me with my boyfriend. hes ';too playa'; you gota deal with him cheating or let him go if hes not gona stop he doesnt see that he has a good thing right infront of his eyes. maybe if you let him go then he'll relize but if NOT **** it, lol plent of more fish in the sea that can treat you right mamas. feel better.
    You can't be angry at someone for being theirself.





    If it is in his nature to lie, then understand that, that is what you will have to live with, if you want to be with him. Just stop fighting. When you get those feelings, walk away, call a friend and *****, or do something other than fighting. Sometimes people get to a point in relationships where hurting the other person is the only way they can see that they are cared about. It is a sick place to be! Just stop fighting. If he starts it, just tell him that you will not discuss it and walk away! :D
    If he constantly lies to you why are you still dating him. You are missing school today because of him?? He is not worth it. He will only hurt you more if you stay with him. Break it off now before things get worse. You will get over him in time and find someone who is honest and good to you.
    Sounds like you deserve better. If you can't trust him because he's always lying to you then you should trust your gut and leave his sorry butt. Don't stay with someone at of fear it will only end up hurting you more. Respect your self and be confidant in who you are and you'll find a good man in no time.
    If you are still in high school then you should just move on - you have so much time to figure out what you really want from another person. So dont waste it all on one who you cant even trust, and I know there is some reason behind the trust issue. People dont just stop trusting eachother.





    But if you're in college then you have to decide if this relationship is helping you get to where you are going in life. Women are always taught (indirectly) to stick it out with a man, make it work. So when they want out they feel really bad about it and dont know how to work past that. Its okay to move on or to stick with him. But you have to decide how much you can handle and how much you cant.





    Communication is really important - you should be talking to him about this, and getting his response.


    Does he care that you dont trust him? Does he care that you get really upset and dont know what to do? Try explaining to him your actual feelings, not just ';You're so mean, I get frustrated....'; But more like, 'It hurts me and scares me when I feel like youre lying to me.'


    Only you know how you really feel about this and how its affecting your life and if its worth it.
    i think that you shouldnt even be wiv him if he keeps lying and screaming at u
    Get out of this relationship Sierra (sorry if I misspelled it),





    You will never change a complusive pathological liar NEVER. You can't change a person trust me.





    Think about this: Do you believe he could change you if he tried to? No. You are saying No to yourself. OK so what makes you think you can change his behavior now or even later? You can't. Besides he doesn't want to change so there you go.





    My advice is focus on school get your head together %26gt; focus on YOU and not some boy who causes alot of drama in your life.





    Good luck and repeat paragraph two to yourself. :)
    i have no idea how old u are but you have to be kinda young look it may be hard to pull away but if u cant trust someone than there is absolutely no reason to keep hanging on fighting and yelling is very un healthy for u. i have a friend that stayed with a guy for 4 years and still is with his dumb a** they started out like u and your bf and now they both physically abuse one another everytime they fight its horrible and grewsome...and im sure u dont wanna end up like this, if u guys truely loved one another there would be trust and that obviously isnt there. think long and hard about it deep down i bet u could truley be happier and healthy without this guy around...besides nobody needs to miss school over a boy!! been there done that...its hard at first but trust me it gets better in the end.
    I'm sorry to say but that is no relationship. You two should maybe take a break from each other. See other people. In my eyes you two should split up... if there is no trust then what is the point?
    Guys like that rarely change. Unless one day his lying lands him in serious trouble - that sometimes does the trick.





    So if (as the years go by) you end up with this guy and marry him,you`ll have to accept him as he is, and live with it. So think about the next 40 or 50 years. Can you live with a guy like this?





    He might possible mature with the years, but I doubt it.


    They say a leopard never changes its spots, and this is mostly true. We are what we are.

    Very confusing times! Helpful advice from people 22+?

    22 goin on 23 just had kind of a detailed question, wanted to know what your thoughts are. I'm going to college so in the meantime I work at a restaurant with a lot of younger kids and a few people my age, most of which aren't very goal-oriented and believe getting wasted on a daily basis is what life's about. I don't think I'm better than any of my co-workers but am starting to feel like the ';mother hen'; of the group and have trouble relating to anyone on a friendship level and I've heard through the grapevine that I'm quite snobby/stuck up/what have you...





    These opinions shouldn't mean much from people I don't consider friends but I'm human therefore it bothers me somewhat. How can I be myself and follow my goals without coming off as a snob? Should I be looking for another job to be around more people that I have things in common with? I feel I'm still at a bit of a tender age where I question just about everything...Very confusing times! Helpful advice from people 22+?
    19 here, so I don't quite qualify, but I'm at college/university now and have lived a bit, had management jobs, done alright myself and felt the infuriating frustration of people I have thought to be complete losers; the majority that is, and I still get that feeling sometimes but I found that you can't use yourself as a benchmark for other people and you can't expect them to share your motivations, from someone fairly driven it makes no sense to you that people can be so utterly complaicent about their lives but that's the difference between you and them and that will only ever change if they see it for themselves and not through your brooding over them or telling them that and they will always think of you as snobby/stuck up because you're not a drooling, drunk, idiot and make them feel bad about themselves but their pride doesn't allow them to register it that way, so you have to see it from their perspective, it's quite hard to put yourself in someone elses shoes and accept them as they are; that doesn't mean you have to be friends with them, and find your place among those on your wavelength. These people are sufferable, but you will never have a meaningful connection with them, because they will frustrate the hell out of you while at the same time despising and resenting you; you need to be superficial, utilize the gift of making other people feel important and pretending to take an interest in the mundane and often disgusting things they do and make sure you have a circle of friends or colleagues outside the workplace to keep you from going crazy; because lets face it - you're working there to pay bills and help you on your way to some place higher, they plan to be there for life - don't go moving about trying to find place and purpose right now, your job is a stepping stone and as long as you think of it that way, you'll be fine.Very confusing times! Helpful advice from people 22+?
    are you there boss..if not just do your job and go home ..dont indulge yourself in pettiness
    I'm 23 and I understand what you mean about being goal-oriented. I think you should just continue on with your job, finish school, and then move on. Just because you are goal-oriented does not mean you are snobby or stuck up. It just means that you realize life is not about getting wasted every day. Are your college friends like you at least? I know most of my friends from college are similar to me and we do a lot of intellectual stuff together instead of partying all the time. But if it makes you feel better, I've always been goal-oriented and I graduated college at 21 and I work two jobs, have my own apartment, and a new car, and I have money saved up for a rainy day. So being goal oriented at your age is a good thing, so I wouldn't let their comments bother you too much. People mature at different times. Some people earlier than others.





    But, if you're really worried about it, maybe just ask them how they're doing and let them talk about their favorite subject....themselves. People always like to talk about themselves so I think if you just show an interest in them, even if you don't want to be actual friends, this might solve the snobbish/stuck up problem.





    I hope this helps.

    What should I do about my marriage? (Need real advice from nice people).?

    you are all right. I've given him the best years of my life. And yes I am staying for the children. Even though I don't love him, I do care about him. And no way would he get counseling.


    Yes I've just started to save money for the first time ever.


    We did seperate for 1 yr due to job move but I was still very dependent on him for everything and when he moved back I thought things would get better after being apart but I was wrong. I'm not ready to live on my own as that one year was very difficult by my self. My children are teenagers. Thank you all.What should I do about my marriage? (Need real advice from nice people).?
    Sounds like maybe you are staying because you have to financially. That's not a good situation to be in. I think the first thing you need to do is work on being independent. I can imagine it must be hard after being dependent on someone, but you can do it. Start trusting your own judgment and decisions, and start making more on your own. Work at becoming a full-time employee, and make your own money. I have a feeling you would be much happier on your own...you just need to be able to afford to be on your own. Hang in there. You will do what's best for you. Take care.What should I do about my marriage? (Need real advice from nice people).?
    O.K. It appears that you have two options. Keep your mouth closed about these feelings until your youngest is in collage and then you will only have to support you or take the chance on him leaving and let him know that it is counseling or goodbye..





    Now, if he loves you and wants his life to include you he will go to counseling. If you think that it is possible to get back to being in love with him than try it. If you are truly done with him than just wait until your youngest is gone.





    Facing the reality of your situation is difficult but in the end what is a few more years to wait. Your children need a father during these teenage years and it is best for them right now and the right thing if you don't feel you have any other options.





    Good luck! I would stay, it is hard alone and damaging to children.
    The best has come and gone, now its time to take charge of your own life. .Other wise your loveless hopeless marriage will turn into a life of Depression and low self esteem. I don't know if you believe in GOD are not but the BIBLE says that he will never leave us nor forsake us. Sometimes we just have to step out on FAITH and let go and let GOD handle it. .As a mother myself I have found out that when I was unhappy my children knew it. they could tell, and this will cause them to grow up not knowing what it means to have a loving family unless YOU change that for them. There are a lot of Divorced single mothers out here that have it hard but still allow their children to be brought up in LOVING homes. The choice is yours if you want to stay there and be intimidated by him because he id the bread winner, you can work and bring home the bacon, fry it up and still be a loving MOTHER.


    PRAY about it and do what you have to do.
    My suggestion is to find a life within the marriage. Maybe get a part time job. Funny you don't mention how he feels about the marriage.
    -if he doesnt wanna to for counseling, then i suggest you two have a heart to heart discussion, (calmly). try to see where the problem lies in your marriage and give it one last shot. if this doesnt work out then


    -u need to get a job


    -i think ur children are old enough to respect ur decision if u want to divorce. coz if u are not happy, how can u make others happy?
    I can tell you my personal experience as a child in this situation. My mom left my dad when I was 18 (12 years ago). It eventually came out that she had been unhappy for the last 10 yrs of their 20 yr marriage. It was so hard for me, because I felt I was responsible for her unhappiness (even though she made her own choices). I don't know if you fight with your husband or not, but if you do, what's worse, a child having special, quality time with mom and dad at differemt times, or having mom and dad in the same house tip toeing around one another and not showing them what a loving relationship could be. Being a single parent is not easy, but it doesn't sound like you have it all that easy right now. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
    your first problem is you children are teenagers. You need to figure out what pushes his buttons, most likely its the attention your kids take away from him. Men are like big babies, somewhere inside he feels like he is at the bottom of the stack of everything. I think adults really lose theirselves with children and once their kids are beginniing to grow up they are in a rut! You know what he likes to do, you may not like it, but ask him on a date to do that! Type out a cute little invitation and hand fill in the to and from and the time and place! Think like when you were dating and you wanted to ';get their attention';. You have to find a way to communicate. www.onceuponafamily.com has a new product called conversation starters. Im a consultant and ill show it to you if youd like loreandillard@yahoo.com anyhoo, it sounds corny i know, but you cant prejudge someone, you have to start with talking, even if its not anything about yalls relationship! And lots of prayer, the best advice i ever got is before you pray for your husband to change, pray for god to show you what you may have done to cause the argument, it takes a lot for a person to step back and look at themselves first! Think about it :)
    Don't stay in a hopeless , loveless marriage for your kids. You are doing them no favors. It is better for kids of any age to be in split households that are happy and peaceful, than in one that is tense. Kids will pick up on what's going on even if you hide it. I recently left a 22 yr. marriage and now wish I would have left sooner. I , too, thought I couldn't make it. It's tough, no doubt, especially financially, but we spend what we make. And if it's not there, you find a way to survive. I often have to say NO to things I've never said NO to. In my situation (because he lied about his income and is not paying support) my kids are doing without things they've always had, but I think it is best for them to see that sometimes ';less is more';.Things don't matter. Love does.
    Wait for next issue on my website www.breakupsos.com. In the mean time don't do anything drastic. It will never settle any problem like leaving him, quarrel etc. which will only expand the problem.
    I say get yourself together so that you won't have to depend on him.It sounds like the only reason you want to stay is because he's the bread winner.I think that if you were able to take care of yourself you probably wouldnt be with him.Just ask yourself, if you were the bread winner and he depended on you, would you feel the same about him.Follow your heart.

    I need some sage advice from people that have been married for a while!?

    Here's the whole story..





    I'm 27 and have been married for 4 years to a man that I love very deeply. Our first real date was going to a church service together and he really seemed to be a true Christian. We got married after 6 months and things went downhill from there.





    I quickly found out that he had a serious pornography addiction (so much so that our physical relations were practically nonexistant). We fought for months until he got help for it. But in the mean time he broke my trust on several occasions by lying to me. I don't believe in divorce so I stood strong. But now we're separated because he changed his mind about wanting to ever have children with me (he wanted them when we first got married but when he changed careers from the air force to physics he decided that he should devote his time to that instead)...





    What can I do?? My dream is to have a family and it kills me to think about a childless existence. I want to do God's will but don't know what that isI need some sage advice from people that have been married for a while!?
    Pray constantly. Pray that God will open your husband's eyes to see what once was important to him, will once again resurface. Also seek counseling. God gives us many tools in our daily lives to make it through what life throws at us. Seeking counseling, is one of those tools. Stay in His word, and ask Him to heal your marriage. If your husband does not want to go to counseling, you go anyway. You set the example, and pray that your husband will follow. You need someone to help you sort through this, so that you are able to make the wisest decision as to what to do. If you put in 100%, no matter the outcome, YOU will know you gave this matter your all. Look to the Lord first and foremost, for daily strength and guidance. Wishing you the best.I need some sage advice from people that have been married for a while!?
    I think you need help from a professional and marriage guidance counselling
    If you have a church that you regularly attend, and since you seem to be a devote Christian, my suggestion to you is to talk to your pastor as he would be somebody that knows you and your issues personally.





    If you are looking for ALL opinions, and have strong stomach for a few idiots, then you have come to the right place as Y!A is full of 'proffesionals' and I pray for you.





    Welcome to the Lion's Den.
    Speak to your minister and ask for advice and councelling. If he won't go, then I would consider a divorce.
    If porn is an overriding issue to the extent you've presented, my opinion is that a chance for a good marriage is very remote. I've been married for 40 plus years and can't see the wife having to deal with a porno issue in additon to ';normal'; sexual as well as ';bonding';, family, financial,Christian mores, and other situations that occur in marriage.


    Porn can replace you in all aspects and needs to be completely erradicated to make your love grow to a union that God meant it to be. My opinion is to let the ol boy work it out for himself and not drag down your union.
    Being into Porno like this actually replaces reality with this type of entertainment. The people into this live their lives in a false sense.


    If he's not interested in help, there's nothing you can do, I would suggest you leave this relationship and look for something else.
    While I will admit I am not married I have been in several very long relationships. I currently cohabitate with my boyfriend of many years.





    Having children has to be a joint decision. While at some points in a relationship or career it might not be the ideal time to have a child, I can definitely understand your hurt feelings if he acts as if he never wants to have children with you. It sound as if he is trying to push you away. If he is, consciously or unconsciously, by neglecting your needs, sexual affection, and children for 2, then I hope you will realize that God wants you to be fullfilled and content and glad to be where you are. If these are not just your husband's ';right now I'm not ready'; growing pains then I would suggest praying and thinking hard about your future, and talk to your husband about what he does see your future being like (the two of you together), does he have a vision? If he does, does he care about having those things in it that are important to you, does his vision depress you, and does it make you feel depressed if he is not wiling to budge on the children issue. I'm afraid if you give in to his vision and it does not take your needs into account you will grow to be a sour and cold woman, bitter and envious of those that have what you do not. I am confidant that what you want can be, but you will have to stand up for yourself, and if your husband is not willing to have a SHARED life in your future than he is not respecting you and that will never stop hurting.
    The Bible says not to be unevenly yoked.That can mean on many levels.The Bible states that you should get a decree of divorce for adultery.Get some counseling from your pastor.He deceived you.Pray about it and it will all clear up....
    Everyone is writing you a book--life is short and you need to get out of the one you are in. Soon you will notice phone bills for over a thousand dollars for on line sex. Life is short please make sure you get yours in order. God will sort it all out later.
    This one's probably not going to get better. Please don't have children with this man! My husband (now ex) watched porno all day while I was working %26amp; started to think that all women, including me were like the sluts in the films. When I wouldn't act like that (walk in %26amp; give him oral sex, for example) he became angry, to the point of violence %26amp; assumed I was doing it elsewhere, meaning I was a slut, but wouldn't do it for him. I WAS WORKING! The violence escalated %26amp; I was lucky to escape with my life.
    Joon, I have been with my husband for 48years and we


    have been married for 42 of them so I think I know what


    it takes to stay married.


    Please, please, please don't even consider bringing children


    into this relationship. It may fulfill your need but what about


    them. Do they deserve a father like him, does his pornography habit run to pedophilia could you ever trust


    it not to.


    This marriage is doomed, he lied to you from the beginning


    so the contract between you both and god is null and void.


    You have been given some very good advice here, the


    best is from heathernhoney, she talks sense and puts it


    better than I ever could. Get out, start again and fulfill your


    dream with a man who is out there waiting for you.
    Why are you still with this man? He has deceived you from day one, he, in fact, is not the man you married. You married the man he pretended to be, therefore the vows he made were a sham. He forgets to mention his porn addiction, then decides he has changed his mind about having the family you desperately want, yet you still want to save your marriage? He is not worthy, you are worth more, it is not God's will that you waste your precious life hanging around for this jerk to get his act together. Were he a decent human being he would have dealt with his ussues before he married you. You owe him nothing, file for divorce and move on with your life. Good luck. x
    He was not truthful with you when you got married. Unfortunately, you married after only knowing him for six months so you found out what he was really like after you were married. Had you dated longer you likely would have seen his real self and not married him. I believe you should get a divorce since it is not fair to you to stay with him under these circumstances and be deprived of having children. Give yourself the chance to meet the right person for you in the future.
    I would talk to my husband and have him talk to your pastor, tell him how you feel and if he doesn't straighten up;get a separation from him, that might Wake him up. Good Luck and God Bless You for trying to stick to your marriage vows
    Marriage is a team effort. You stated that you want the marriage to work because you love him very much. What does he want? Is he trying to make the marriage work by getting help for his addiction? Advice to you lies within the answer to this question. Perhaps he doesn't want children because his struggles are deeper than you know?


    What do you want to do? Are you willing to work on the marriage at all cost? Are you willing to walk away if you know he's uncompromising.


    In God's eyes you already have a right to divorce. Adultery is being committed against you even if it's with a machine.


    You're being denied for another lover


    The decision is yours, Whatever you decide everyone is on your side, including God.
    Marriage isn't always an easy union, even when two people have compatable needs and hopes. It looks like you and your husband have not had compatable hopes from very early in your marriage, and so you've had even more struggles.





    When you look at 1 Corinthian 7, there are lines about husbands fulfilling their marital duties, as well as wives doing the same. Both people need to participate, join together to share their hopes, dreams, ambitions, plans, and sexual activity. Now, I can understand the desire to work to preserve a marriage, but this can only happen if both people are committed to doing so. We shouldn't run when there are troubles and disappointments, but we shouldn't be expected to be the only one making an effort or the only one whose hopes and dreams are addressed. My personal view is that unless both the man and the woman are committed and willing to serve their spouse then there is no true marriage.





    This line from your question struck me as a little odd ';I don't believe in divorce so I stood strong.'; There are two reasons for my reaction; 1) How can you not believe in something that is clearly discussed in scripture? While it is true that Christians believe that marriage fulfills God's will to unite a man and a woman; it is also recognized that sometimes people fail. Divorce was never commanded for any transgression; but it is permitted under certain conditions. 2) Standing strong solely to avoid divorce; because you don't believe in divorce, doesn't seem like a very giving thing to do for your spouse. If the only reason you stood by your husband when you discovered his use of pornography was because you don't believe in divorce, then I have to wonder where your opportunites for healing and forgiveness would come from? It seems like you were more focused on following rules or ideals rather than joining together to solve a problem, to heal, or make the decision to stay together or not.





    My heart goes out to you. You do not have an easy decsion to make. Take some time for yourself. Consider looking for some support to help you make a decision; through your Church or other counseling. Try to figure out if both you and your husband are willing and able to support each other's hopes and plans; it must be both you of you because if only one of you is willing to be giving then you are not 'one'. Figure out if you are willing to try to heal together or if it would be better to divorce....where you both share in the failure. Admitting your part in a failed marriage can help you begin to heal and hopefully try again. Divorce can be forgiven....sometimes we fail to achieve our ideals.
    You can either live with all his faults , stay separated or get a divorce.


    I think you should decide what is best for you and do it.


    Talking to your minister could be helpful, unless his advice is irrational.
    I do believe you have grounds for a divorce even from the Bibical view. The Bible even tells us, if a Christian is married and the mate DOES not wish to dwell with her, then she is free. Also the Bible says if a person looks on someone with lust in their heart , they have commited adultry already.Adultry is also in the Bible, that you could be set free. If he was into porn heavily, don't you think he fantisized a great deal((((((WHOA- adultry)))))I too hate divorce, but God does give us some freedom from our mistakes. You can't live like this. You need a home and family to be happy.Isd there a chance he may change his mind later? If he does just to please you then he may resent you later for it. It's tricky. Don't you have a Pastor to tallk to. If you are Catholic, I know they wouldn't approve of this. They don't believe in birth control anyway.If youy were married in a Catholic church then I'm sure the church would accept your marriage as OVER. In any other church, I;m sure they too would accept it. But talk to someone. You're not getting any younger and and you haven't had too much happiness from the way it sounds.
    Seems to me that your differences are too great to ever have a happy relationship. To stick with the bloke just to have children would be very unfair to any kids you had,they would soon know that their father resented them.


    I agree with fighting to keep a marriage going,but there has to come a time when you say 'that's it,I've tried my best' and the marriage was a massive mistake.


    I'm afraid divorce would seem the only answer.


    You owe it to yourself to fulfill your life as you wish,with a good bloke and nice children.
    Joon, you ask, ';what can I do ?';


    DO YOU NEED TO ASK THIS QUESTION?


    (read the 'answer's here, and draw from what they say. There's good advice given.)


    You have ';wasted'; 4 years of YOUR TIME with this ';loser';, DON'T MAKE IT ANY LONGER !


    And you might think God isn't listening, but actually, I think He is.


    From reading your post, He has ';blessed'; you with NOT having children WITH THIS GUY. (I see that as a BLESSING, wouldn't you?. )


    (looking at this guy's 'history', what's next? CHILD PORN ? Then what will you do ?)


    You say that ';you don't believe in divorce';. Let's put it this way; NO ONE GET'S MARRIED JUST TO GET ';DIVORCED'; !


    ';Divorce';, is simply a ';tool'; for you to use, to get yourself OUT OF THIS MESS. It's nothing more, and certainly nothing that YOU DID to cause it.


    ( beside's, I think, with no children, you can get your marriage annulled, as someone has already suggested.)


    You certainly don't need any more 'regret' in your life, it's time to Move OUT, and move ON, and meet someone that's MORE STABLE, MORE TRUSTWORTHY.


    GOOD LUCK Darlin'
    you might want to get an annulment. He had a pre-existing addiction problem that was not disclosed to you before you married, and also if you give up your chance to have kids because of him, there is only years of resentment ahead for you.
    Joon,





    I admire you for sticking by him during this time. Divorce is terrible, but... I'd talk honestly with him and tell him if he refuses to have kids, you're going to have to divorce him, but you'd prefer to stay together. This is one of the classical ';grounds of divorce.'; You should go and have a family -- it's not a selfish, but a normal thing. The nature of love is to be fruitful -- in refusing to have kids, he is destroying whatever love was there in the first place. Maybe he doesn't realizes what this is doing to you?
    From one christian to another, your husband gave you an out. If it comes to divorce, then the divorce is not your fault. The fault stands with him. It is his duty as the head the of the household to bring your security and peace of mind. Not division and stress.


    Offer him the option to go through counseling or divorce. Again, its not your doing but his actions that have forced the relationship to end.


    God's will for your will being and peace of mind, not to be anchored down to someone who no longer loves you.


    Best of luck in your future endeavors.
    God is the God of second chances and of forgiveness!!!





    I do not think you have to stay with this man!! He was NOT honest- isn't honest. Life is far too short to live in a horrid situation, which can be changed.





    Leave while you are young!!! GO!





    My eldest daughter married at 18, totally against our admonishments! She was bull-headed and went off and married.





    Sure enough, one year later, she called me and said Mom I can't take it- WHY didn't I listen to you?????





    I told her honey- leave and come home! My church lady friends were cluck clucking like hens- oh she can't do that.... but I say God forgives mistakes!!!!!!!!!!!





    You leave now and rebuild a GOOD life.
    This jerk is trash and you need to put him out at the curb!





    Why would you even CONSIDER letting him be the father of your children???





    Have you thought of children as living beings or just a source of entertainment to you? They will have needs and feelings and should not be exposed to some guy who may even molest them in his quest for the sexual adventure.





    Shuck him!!! Immediately....
    I feel for you so much and am sorry that your dream was not realized with this man. ';This Man'; is the key phrase. I don't mean for you to discard your marriage but he has some very Serious issues that, I'm afraid, will take you down. This addiction renders a man full of fear %26amp; will affect every area of his life; you being first in line. Pornography isn't just about sex; men who delve into that have prior unresolved and difficult issues. You must love him very much but ask yourself why you're willing to suffer your life for this or any other person. Don't wait years for him to get better from this because it will also take years for him to stop lying! That's addiction too but if he's a pathological lyer, he doesn't even know when he lies. Do some research on these two defects of character and see if it's not too much of yourself to sacrifice. ';What is the ultimate power you call upon for assistance';? God, of course, but then you get in His way and come to Answers, lol. I'm not saying that's a bad thing cuz God doesn't wear a watch and we can't tell when the answer will come so you want some opinions you can lean on in the meantime! How many times have you said, ';But I Love Him';? If you can wrap your mind around this...don't use this as a basis for giving up your own life and dreams because I'll bet this guy will not be a good father either!! I'll say a prayer for you and if you wanna talk some more, email me. God bless you!
  • buy make up
  • Ttc and need some advice from people experiencing the same things?

    i am about 2 days away from my period and experiencing feeling sick some sort of belly ache but i dont know weather thats coz i been having bad wind for the last couple of days also been getting bad headaches, I do know that in early pregnancy your tempreture rises but i dont know what to, im fit and healthy overwise but my tempreture has been 100.4 im not ill aint got a cold just high tempreture any advice pleaseTtc and need some advice from people experiencing the same things?
    What you are experiencing may be symptomatic of early pregnancy... or of your period being on its way. Your temperature rises once you've ovulated and stays high until your period comes, or if you're pregnant, it remains high throughout pregnancy - so there's no way of telling at the moment whether you're pregnant or not.





    You could try taking a pregnancy test as both First Response and Clear Blue are supposed to accurate from a few days before your missed period, but the only way to tell for sure is to wait a few days and see if your period comes...